What are some surprising facts about anger that people are not aware of?
Great question. Most people only have a vague understanding of what the word anger means. Shocking. But, true.
Anger is one of four primary aggressions that people can use depending on the context of the obstacle that person is facing.
Anger is frustrated Desire (want). the ability to obtain, grab, possess the object of that desire is frustrated by some obstacle, action, rule, etc. But, the key to developing anger in this situation is the person judging that there is a real possibility of getting or possessing that object. So, anger exists because the mind believes/expects this is possible.
The person who gets angry at someone tossing a paper on the ground, expects that this is not right. They express this displeasure in the hope of persuading the litterbug, if there, to pick it back up and throw it away. If the litterbug is long gone, they still may get angry, at the idea someone would do this. But, this is more conceptual.
So, people can feel emotions about events and issues in their immediate experience, or they can also feel emotions based on ideas, expectations, and beliefs.
A mathematical representation of this would be perhaps:
A (real) + A (imaginary) = A (total)
On the opposite hand, to reduce or eliminate anger, all that is necessary is to convert it into desire, or fear. These are the other possible states in this cognitive subsystem. These states are mutually exclusive. So, if you are angry, you cannot feel fear. If you are afraid, you cannot feel anger. If you feel desire, you can tip over into anger or fear based on the situation, and tip back just the same.
If you have two angry people, they can be calmed by getting them to talk about what they "want." If they are talking, they are not fighting, at least not yet. But, if they start laying out what they want, the anger fades and desire rises. A compromise can make the anger fade entirely. We call this diplomacy.
Here is a chart of all four dimensions:
